Natural sign of love; the Mother
“When a child loss accurse a mother goes through a difficult time of emotional turmoil and questioning “am I still a mother”? Does my child still have a birth day each year or does time stand still? Can the mother-child relationship continue to grow or am I now an “unfinished Mother?” Generally questions any mother!
By Tanveer Ahmed
Loving chilled places a mother on a road that begins a lonelier journey than ever expected one that can never really be explained. There was a beginning but with the death of a child, there is no medal and end. Everything seems so unfinished. Hopes and dreams were stopped for too soon, joy was snatched away so suddenly. A mother is left with empty arms and an empty heart. Nothing can ever be complete when a child’s life ends. When the death of the child occurs, a mother is stopped in her tracks and suddenly feels inadequate and incomplete. She wears a new name. She an “unfinished mother” never being able to see the rest of the picture. She will never be able to watch her child mature in to a young adult she will never be able to see all the pieces fight together. The picture will always so have a part of the scenery missing it is so painful to be an unfinished mother child less makes every things seem son empty and incomplete. The reality of child love is divesting to a mother. There are overwhelming feeling of guilt, inadequacy and most often feeling of failure. These feelings can overwhelm a mother for several months following the death of a child and it can be quiet difficult to build a support system to carry a mother through this roller coaster of emotion . Very few people understand a mother’s explanation of feeling like she is an unfinished mother. There will come a critical point in this journey of grief when a mother must reach deep inside her inner resources and make a conscious decision to accept herself just has she is a mother whose heart have been touched by pain and grief of child loss. Only then can She Start to put together some of the broken pieces and begin to feel like there will be a day when she will feel more like a complete mother than an unfinished mother. When a child dies life is suddenly thrown completely off balance. A mother is left feeling like her identity has been taken away, it is often a long difficult journey to find that place of identity as a mother again. It’s hard to understand that there is unfinished willing that will never be complete. Peace can finally come to mother’s heart when she realize that there is a big deference between having unfinished business and being left feeling like an unfinished mother. A mother is never “No matter how brief her time was with her child the bond of love between mother and child was complete a Mother” love for her child is unending. Dreams may shatter and circumstances may change. But a mother love remains string.
As a mother travels they path to healing, it is important for her to remind herself often that she is a mother forever. Her motherhood didn’t stop when her child died. This understanding of motherhood releases the feeling of guilt and failure and allows a mother to begin to see herself as a whole person again, a complete mother. A mother is never and “unfinished mother”. A mother’s love runs for to deep to ever be called Unfinished Mother.